Everyone’s rock bottom is different. For one person, it could be on the hinges of death from an overdose because of addiction or debilitating depression. For another, it could be losing everything important because of their selfish actions. One way or another, rock bottom is a complete feeling of loss of one’s sense of being and purpose for living.
The worst cases of rock bottoms have some of the most awe-inspiring stories. We love stories with extreme adversity and knowing the person rose from the ashes. But after feeling that initial inspiration, we usually quickly revert back to our own issues and continue living the same life. But, it’s with those very same issues that we have moments where we feel rock bottom, but we are hesitant to call it that because we start comparing. Spilling coffee all over the dashboard feels pretty rock bottom in that moment, but it’s nothing compared to families who lose their child to cancer.
I have personally been inspired by a very dear friend who’s been facing some adversity in her life. She’s a wonderful, kind, good-hearted, loyal, and loving friend. As life would have it, she’s trying her best to make things work with a blended family and stay civil with all adults involved. While she can’t control how most people act, she’s always in amazing control of how she acts. She’s been, at what feels like her rock bottom, several times in a span of a year. She has pulled herself out of the trenches every time with the utmost of grace. Anyone else who finds themselves riding a unicorn through life would not be able to handle a fraction of what she deals with. Tough times have been upon her frequently, to say the least. Yet, she maintains her reasoning, her logic, and remains a caring friend to me through it all. This is strength. It’s of a different caliber than I’ve ever seen. It’s not the cancer strength or death strength, it’s actual “regular” real life problems without the drama and silliness. She’s someone who is humble even when she’s actually great. She simply shows her strength each and every time life digs her a deep hole. I feel during these times, I’m witnessing the most amazing human I’ve ever known.
However, we aren’t here to compare rock bottoms from moment to moment or even over the course of a life time. Comparing anything is really a moot point betwee humans that we have yet to realize. We are here to talk about how people find strength even in their worst moments/times to overcome the adversity and get back on track.
Write/Draw it Out
We’ve said this before so grab some paper. Write out your feelings. Heck, even draw it out. These activities help to release what’s inside of your head and heart so that you can feel a little lighter. Being at rock bottom makes you feel as though you are suffocating under the weight of your own breath. Writing and drawing are so therapeutic especially if you just feel like you can’t talk to anyone.
You have to start affirming yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it. As crazy as that sounds, you need to fight hard for yourself. Tell yourself what makes you amazing. Whether you think someone else believes it or not, it’s not about them, it’s about you and what you believe. There’s a fine line between being arrogant and delusional and then there’s that vital need to love yourself. “I am good, I am kind, I love flowers.”
Talk to Someone
When you’re at rock bottom, it’s the worst time to get through it alone. Find a friend who you can talk to. They don’t necessarily have to completely understand what you’re feeling but find someone who will listen. Sometimes talking it out, gets it out. It’s cathartic and then you will release yourself of what ails you so that you can breathe a little better. Breathing helps clear the mind. Then, the hope is that you’ll eventually be able to see a clearer path a little more each day. The flip side to this exchange is common sense yet easily forgotten if you are the one in need. If you’ve got a friend who’s willing to put in the time to help you and listen to you, then you should not forsake their time by talking at them. You are important to them, but you are also not at the center of their lives. Be courteous, respectful, and aware of their time, also. However, never feel that you are a burden.
When you’re feeling like you’re overwhelmed and exhausted aka rock bottom, you need to set boundaries for yourself so that you can actually heal yourself. It’s not running away nor should you feel guilty for creating much-needed space for yourself. When something taking up a lot of emotional, mental, and physical time, you really don’t have much left for anything else beyond what’s necessary. We always talk about taking care of yourself and doing self-care. If you’re at rock bottom, then now is a very real time to start taking care of yourself. Learn to say no (nicely) to extracurricular things that are optional, learn to protect your time when you’re feeling like it’s getting zapped, and learn that it’s ok to actually put yourself first for once. If you’re always at 25%, you’re no good to anyone, especially yourself.
Gift Yourself a Time Out
Go to the woods, camp out for the weekend. Or, if you’re able to get more time off, then do it for a week. Every story of someone at rock bottom connecting with nature generally ends up with some form of enlightenment and rejuvenation. Nature doesn’t really want anything from you, other than not to burn her down. She’s there to give you breath and space. Be one with yourself and nature. No phones. No internet. No one. This may be extreme but this could just be what we all need at some point. Everything else can wait, people can learn to put out their own fires. Unless you are working for NASA or something top secret level important, everything can wait. And, guess what, the world keeps going. If you keep spreading yourself thin, then you will break and what good will that be for the people who really care about you?
Some of these suggestions are very gentle and easy to do. Writing, talking to a friend, and coloring. Others are a little more drastic like setting boundaries. And then there’s drastic where you completely go MIA to recover yourself. Whatever it is you need at any given time, you should always give yourself permission to do it. Without throwing in the cheesy lines, you’ve only got one you. You’ve only got one life, no redos. You’re only going to experience today one time, no redos. Don’t let anything stop you from making it the greatest day you’ve ever lived, each and every day.