There are many reasons why it’s ok to say no, especially in the current world. Many of us suffer from anxiety and depression which makes it even more important to learn how to say no. Saying no sets boundaries. It helps us excel at the things we actually love. When we spread ourselves too thin, our performance, mood, and overall health suffer tremendously.
If you are not yet convinced that it’s not ok to say, here are 5 reasons that might gently empower you to say no the next time you just can’t.
It’s Your Life
You can’t control what other people think or do. You actually don’t even owe anyone anything even if you are led to believe you do. At the end of the day, you might try as you might, but in pleasing everyone around you, but you will go to bed and wake up every morning miserable and even more depressed. Feeling like you failed or disappointed someone may be a function of your morality, work ethic, big heart, but it could also just be the other person unreasonably making you feel guilty.
When You Don’t Have Time
If you don’t have time to do an extra 60 things, say no. It’s humanly impossible to do everything and we need to accept this. If you’ve got to care for elderly parents, young children, run a home, keep a job, there’s really room for just one more thing at that point and that’s sleep. Unless you have copious amounts of help and you are wealthy, it’s slightly just not possible to do everything. We live in a world where we want to be seen as that person who “does it all”, but there’s a huge price with trying to live up to that image. It’s called a mental breakdown. Unless there’s going to be a fire or someone is going to die, everything and anything can wait.
When You Just Don’t WANT To
How many of us are guilty of begrudgingly doing things we actually don’t want to? Why? Because we don’t want to be seen as mean, rude, unkind, a raging b*tch, or just someone who is heartless. Are these opinions yours or what you think the other party will think of you? Will someone die if you don’t do this thing? We have to be cut-throat sometimes, we have to really protect our own lives because no one else is really going to do it for us. If something or someone makes you unhappy, uncomfortable, or just plain nauseous, say no.
No One’s Paying for Your Medical Bills But You
We all have ways to deal with pressure. Some of us run, others meditate, but if you have anxiety, neither of these things really work. Being honest here, when the anxiety and depression end up out of control because we are just not able to set boundaries in our lives, we suffer. Sometimes essential oils aren’t going to cut it and we need to seek help. Seeking help is expensive if you live in America. Whether it be therapy or prescription medication, that stuff gets expensive. Who’s paying for it? You. Just You. Not that Sally who coerced you into helping with the bake sale again. Not Tim who asked you to write another report for whatever analysis because he didn’t have time himself. Not Gale who just played with your heart and was never a friend, to begin with anyway. The truth is that some people actually suck, identify them, and just say no.
You are Actually #1
Again, think back to your death bed. Sometimes, you have to think extreme and be morbid. That’s what I like to do. Should I be on my death bed, how would I want to think about my life. Did I go around trying to please people who actually didn’t feel a lick of appreciation #buttkissing? Or, did I live my life on my own terms to accumulate all the happiness in the world possible? At some point, you realize that there are people who really love you and there are people who just need things from you. Figure out the difference so you can say yes to the right ones. Why? You are actually #1 in your own life. Why should you live it for anyone else on their terms? It doesn’t make sense and it makes you miserable.
You can help and love other people all you want, but don’t forget to show yourself the same level of help and love, too.